My former girlfriend got sucked into Instagram

I met Maria at my birthday party. I immediately noticed her because she is a very beautiful girl. But it’s not like this… She’s very, very beautiful.

On the first date she showed herself quite well: she did not say anything stupid, was too modest.

I spent the whole evening with the girl. We exchanged phone numbers. Everything was cool.

The fun started the day we met at the café together. I was a little surprised that every meal the girl took a picture of before eating. A little later, I realized that she’d done it all on Instagram.

She also took pictures of a bouquet of roses. Probably lives by the principle: “if she didn’t post it, it would mean it didn’t.” I was photographed once at first. Apparently, I was waiting for the subscribers to react. Then I started taking general pictures. I was flattered by that. But then where we don’t go, there’s the same selfies everywhere. And she’s always weaving something in her smartphone. I tell her something or answer her, and she does. I’m getting really pissed off.

On the second date, she was on her smartphone most of the time. I’ll be honest with you, it got mad. I asked her to put the device away for a while so I could talk like a normal person. She’d take her smartphone off for a while, and then she’d do it all over again…

The same gimp started on the third date. I even signed up for it on instinct. And you know… before the ribbon started, I couldn’t spin: toilet selfies, in the office, at lunchtime, before bedtime, at the flower bed, at the herringbone…

I asked her at the next meeting not to take out the phone to give time to each other, not to subscribers. She’s all crazy.

That was our last meeting. And everything she thinks about me, I read in her profile tonight, and all 2,400 subscribers too. That’s idiotic.